" But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 19:14 ( KJV )
"Why do we suffer?" Suffering" is brought on by many different catalysts, from the death of a loved one to one's own physical illness, or dis-ease, but the main cause of suffering is Choice! "Bad things happen"; yes, I get that, but must we suffer from it? What if, instead, we choose to learn from it, so if it happens again, we know better how to deal with it properly? "Does it cause us pain? Does not pain equal suffering?" Sure; pain often means suffering, but only if one suffers from it! I understand that I may be going out on a limb here, but what if, rather than suffering from the pain, we instead understand ( realize ) that the pain is there for a reason; to let us know that something is not right?! This could be applied to mental pain as well as physical pain. Mental pain, or 'anguish', is admittedly a different sort of animal; it is more of a Choice than actual physical pain & here is where the Suffering comes in. Whereas with physical pain, it would seem almost impossible NOT to suffer from it, with mental suffering, the Choice is clear; "DON'T!"
In the quote above from the King James Version of the Hebrew/Greek Scriptures, "suffer" ought better to be translated "let" or "allow". Though it is archaic, the majority of the older versions of the Bible use the word "suffer", while most, if not all of the more modern versions translate it as "let" ( "leave" ) or "allow". In such a case, especially in reference to mental pain, the word "allow" more clearly shows how it is our choice as to whether we suffer from our anguish or not. "Anguish" is itself a matter of Choice as well! From losing a loved one to the death of a favorite pet, whether or not we find ourself in anguish depends largely on how attached we are to that pet or person. Whether it's attachment issues, or actual physical pain, it's always up to the individual as to what to do with the pain.
"What then do we do with Suffering?" I'll be the first to acknowledge that it's usually easier said than done to make the choice not to suffer from either physical pain or mental anguish, though I WILL tell you that it gets easier the more you are able to do it! Maybe the better question then is, "What is Suffering?" This might easily go back to the question of "Why?", but according to the Cambridge Dictionary, Suffering is "physical or mental pain that a person or animal is feeling". While it could admittedly be argued that one has no choice what one feels, the argument could as easily be made that one has no choice to whom they become attached. Again, "easier said than done", but I'm purposely being somewhat ridiculous: "Of course we have a choice as to whether or not we become attached to a person or a pet!" In that sense then, if that sense alone, one has a choice as to how they feel, whether it be about a person, place or thing!
Now, "How do we NOT suffer?!" There's a meme going around that I've really come to appreciate ( "I can relate as well!" ); it goes something like this: first, the question is asked ( by a psychiatrist, I assume ), "Does anyone in your family suffer from mental illness?" The reply is, "No, we all rather enjoy it!" Humorous, yes, but to the point. Obviously, we must deal with the difference here between physical & mental pain. It's easy to say, "I enjoy being identified as mentally ill ( whatever THAT might mean )", but it's not so easy to deal with, much less enjoy physical pain. "Must we necessarily suffer from physical pain?" I'll tell you this; it's most definitely hard not to! This is not to say that one cannot ignore their pain to the point that the lesson can be learned. I know; "easier said than done", but even in the case of physical pain, we STILL have a choice!
The problem, as I see it ( "Well, PART of the problem anyway!" ) is that we've been programmed to believe that we MUST suffer! When something happens to us, we have learned that we are the VICTIM, so thus, it causes anguish, possibly even physical pain. On the other end of the spectrum, so to speak, is RELIGION! We are told that, as a Christian, we should EXPECT to suffer! It even feeds us the notion that if we DON'T suffer, something's WRONG!
Programming/conditioning is, of course, not the main reason we experience suffering, although it IS so ingrained in us that it almost seems to come naturally! Our reliance on outside sources has taught us that when those outside sources do not provide for our 'needs' as we would like, we experience disappointment, which, when left unchecked, leads to suffering. Expectations, then, are a leading cause of suffering. Whether it's expecting others to be on the same page as we are, or expecting some Pie in the Sky, where the Big Guy upstairs looks after our every need, our expectations cannot but disappoint!
In the case of physical suffering, "As above, so below", when we ALLOW our physical pain to determine our actions, or on the other side of the coin, our inaction, we tend to look at those events that come at us from some other outside source as making us the victim. "Yes", in some sense we are victims of circumstance, but "again", this is where Choice enters the arena: we have the ABILITY, responsAbility really, to use those unfortunate circumstances to learn, to grow, to EVOLVE!
Thus, when we ALLOW that victim mentality to steer our thoughts, THEN is when the Suffering sets in! Rather than bemoaning, or dwelling on the fact that all this HAPPENED to us, things beyond our control, if we can simply realize that we might have had a hand in the unfortunate events, whether we placed ourselves in the path of something that might cause us pain, or whether a change in diet might have placed us on a different course ( this is where ResponsAbility comes in ), we can choose to make the necessary changes in our OWN lives! ( we should ALL know that we cannot change anyone but ourselves ) I do not mean to imply, of course, that NOTHING happens to us that is totally beyond our control, but even then, it is OUR Choice as to how we face these unfortunate circumstances, whether we EMBRACE them as a learning/growing/evolving experience, or whether we take the easy road & play the part of the Victim!
Let's face it; in this experience we call Life, things WILL happen to us that ARE beyond our control! ( that's really an arguable point, but for our purposes here, we will go with it ) "As above, so below", we cannot control the actions of others & neither should we try, though we can influence them. Therefore, those things that happen to us ( "Cruel Fate", or whatever ), that seem to be beyond our control, or even sphere of influence, that make us believe we are the Victim, are in Reality, still within the Realm of our ResponsAbility! Choice is a powerful thing; it ALLOWS us to decide what to do with, as they say, "the cards we are dealt"!
Namaste' & Blessed Be!
Sage Charles