HERETIC ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WARNING; READING THIS BLOG MAY PROVE UNHEALTHY TO YOUR ORTHODOXY!!!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Out of the Bag

'Mom.....Dad.....Y'all might wanna sit down for this.....'

Lynn should have known better; every parent dreads what comes next-okay, so sometimes it's not nearly as bad a their child thinks it is-but especially Lynn's folks; both were good upstanding members of a local congregation & her dad was even a deacon! Lynn Gaylord had always felt...............well, special; never quite fitting in with all the others-boys or girls-but somewhat of an affinity for both. She had, up to this point, led a fairly normal childhood, but now that she had hit puberty, full-force, so to speak, Lynn was beginning to hear 'The Call of the Wild' even more!

As her parent's blood began to warm their faces again, Lynn continued her confession; 'I always had this nagging feeling that I wasn't quite like all the rest-I'm sure you had your suspicions too-but as I've bee doing a lot of growing in the past several years, I've discovered that I prefer...................'Boyz II Men'. As soon as the words had left her mouth, both of Lynn's parents jumped to their feet, words rushing out of their mouth like water from a freshly un-kinked hose!

'Oh, honey, we're so relieved; we had noticed as you were growing up that you were a bit.....different, but this is such a load off our minds!

'But, mom..........dad..............', Lynn replied, as she picked her mouth up off the carpet, 'I said I like 'Boyz II Men', not boys in general; I'm both cissexual & cisgender, if that's what you were worried about!'

Well, of course, being old 'fuddie-duddies', Lynn's poor parents had never even heard the term ( s ) before, so back up went the blood pressure, almost immediately reaching the boiling point-for her dad, anyway!

'What the hell..........' her dad began to protest, as her mother quickly tried to calm the storm that was brewing. 'we love you anyway, dear, no matter what you choose to be..............' Lynn's mom had heard terms like 'transgender' & transsexual' before, so she knew enough about those kinds of things to know that they just weren't quite right. Lynn's dad, on the other hand, knew enough about these 'things' to know that no child of his was gonna have anything to do with such 'things'!

'I forbid..............', he tried again-more weakly this time-as Mom turned the full force of her 'death stare' on him! 'Dear', her mom asked, 'what exactly do you mean by 'cisgender' & 'cissexual'?' 'We've heard other similar terms, but these are new to us.' To tell you the truth, Lynn's mom was actually more worried about the 'sexual' part more than ''gender-her little baby daughter was only 15, for God's sake!

With a petulant, almost perturbed look on her face, Lynn gave her parents the definition of both cisgender & cissexual. 'Cissexual' , she replied as her eyes tried to roll up like some old window blinds, 'simply means, 'noting or relating to a person who is comfortable with having the physical characteristics of that person’s biological sex'; in other words, one who is not transsexual!'

Both Lynn's parents felt quick & obvious relief at this, though, now that her father had gotten past the first stages, he too felt a twinge at the word 'sexual'-both parents had grown up in a puritannical environment, so this was to be expected! Their daughter was simpy pulling one on them, they quickly realized, assuring them she was straight, while 'getting their goat' by using unfamiliar words like 'cissexual' & 'cisgender'!

Lynn was relieved; 'you're not mad about the 'Boyz II Men' thing?', she asked, somewhat incredulously! 'Oh, dear,' her mother replied-her father hadn't found his voice yet-he'd talk to HER later, 'we're just so relieved that you haven't made any..............strange, choices, we really didn't even pay much attention to the 'II Men' part; of course it's okay that you like them, but be careful who you tell though, those boy-groups ARE a bit....strange!'

This has just been a parable of sorts, but also a warning, a warning that one day your own son or daughter might face you-the parent-with such a confession! When he or she does, the best thing to do is.......'SHUT UP & LET ME FINISH!' They might be trying to tell you, in their own weird way that they're pretty normal, or, they might actually like 'boy-groups': then, my friends, you might have REAL cause for concern!

Charles Haddon Shank

No comments: