Johnny was alone. Oh, sure, he had friends aplenty ( sometimes it seemed like too many, he seemed so busy ), being the social butterfly he was & all, but Johnny yearned for someone to hold! Someone he could 'lay claim to', so to speak. As most, if not all men; Johnny had been taught that a wife was a possession, one that belonged to you. Well, maybe not in so many words, but the meaning was abundantly clear; once you were married, even 'just' engaged, she was YOURS & yours alone! If someone dared to infringe on your rights, i.e., take liberties with your property, you'd be well within your rights to take whatever action you deemed necessary to force them to cease & desist, even if it meant maiming or killing them!
Part of the problem, Johnny came to see, was that all his learning told him that 'Life' was wrapped up in this biology & that, once this biology was gone, so was 'Life' ( unless one believed in Life After Death ( LAD ) in some mythical 'Heaven' ). As his understanding continued to evolve, so too did his horizons widen ( infinitely so ); Johnny came to realize that there was More, More than this biology, in fact, that 'Life' in this sense, WAS wrapped up in this biology! His Life, indeed the lives of all human beings who have lived & will ever live on this globe we call 'Earth', though manifested in this biology, actually had it's Source, or Beginning ( ? ) in what many call 'Spirit'. Although these mortal bodies are the vehicles through which we accomplish our purposes, they are simply that, the means through which the Spirit manifests our desires. That was another issue Johnny had to face: he'd been taught that, though our human desires were perfectly natural, they were to be stifled, even squelched, until ( 'if?' ) the One came along.
'The One', of course, was that perfect mate that 'God' had designed just for him & kept 'waiting in the wings' ( so to speak ), for just the right time when 'He' knew you were sufficiently prepared for her. If you didn't patiently wait on 'God's' timing, you would unleash on yourself a world of trouble, he'd heard & you might even end up going to some mythical 'Hell', to boot! So, Johnny, like a good little boy, had always watched his 'Peas' & 'Cues', dutifully waiting, if impatiently sometimes, for the 'woman of God's own choosing' to be dropped in his lap. After waiting for some time & trying several 'experiments' ( failed ). Johnny came to realize that, just like Life was More than this biology, so 'the One' was More than just another biological body.
When Johnny started to question what he'd been taught & more or less dutifully obeyed for most of his life, he seemed to encounter some resistance! This resistance sometimes took the form of family members ( humanly speaking ) & sometimes, even his own mind, or Ego! As he continued to walk this 'new' path he had chosen, Johnny found that the further he walked, even though the resistance increased, substantially in fact, his Journey actually became smoother, with the realization that he did not belong to biology: rather, as a spiritual being having a human experience, his biological body belonged to him & thus was subject to his desires!
'The One' that Johnny had been searching for, waiting patiently for most of his long & lonely life, was right there, 'inside' the biology he called 'home'! As a Person, a human being, Johnny still had desires; he still, personally speaking, longed for someone to hold, someone who would cling to him alone, but, as the Spirit ( being ) that he truly was, he came to the realization that it was not simply another example of biology that he sought, nor even another Spirit ( being ), a 'soulmate', in a manner of speaking, but rather the very same Spirit that motivated the Person known popularly as 'Johnny'. It was the Spirit Within for which Johnny had been waiting, even unconsciously searching for, for the majority of his human experience!
The Spirit Within the Person known as 'Johnny' was indeed the same Spirit that motivates us all! Oh, sure, one might tell you, as they often told Johnny over & over, that it was OBVIOUSLY not the same Spirit that motivated all human beings, for why else would some do good, while others did what was evil?! Those were always interesting discussion, usually involving 'free-will' or some other form of 'gobble-de-gook', but they most often proved rather fruitless ( or so it seemed at the time ) & only served to further befuddle & even alienate his detractors. The Spirit Within, Johnny now saw, was One & the Same with the Source of All Life! It was That which formed this biology in order to accomplish the Purpose of Life. You might ask then, 'what IS the Purpose of Life?' As Johnny himself often asked ( in reply ), 'what do YOU think is the Purpose of Life?' ( So, I too will leave it up to my readers! )
'Was Johnny truly alone?' Yes, humanly speaking, at least, according to all he had been taught for most of his life, Johnny was alone; he had no one to call his own! 'Did he not still experience loneliness, the desire to have another human being of his own ( 'my own, my precious' ) 'to have & to hold, from this day forth...........'?' Sure he did! As a human being, Johnny still experienced the pangs of loss, he still had fears that, unlike everyone else he knew, he would never feel the love of another human being, expressed in a unique way, known to him alone. However, realizing as he did, that he was not just the Person known as 'Johnny'; Johnny 'shook off' these feelings & continued his Journey, relying on the Spirit Within to manifest his timely desires!
Everything HAD changed...........................
Charles Haddon Shank
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