It is fairly well accepted that, within the bonds of the marriage covenant, sexuality is a good & right thing to explore! It is outside these bonds that it is usually frowned upon & even forbidden. Sensuality, on the other hand, is barely mentionable, especially among many Christians, causing such a sensation in most circles, that it is even more taboo than sexuality! Even within the bonds of the marriage covenant, according to most Christians, sexuality & sensuality should be kept under lock & key, behind closed doors, so to speak!
Human beings of both genders, or sexes are, by their very nature, both sexual & sensual creatures; to deny this is to deny our Heavenly Father's creative ability! Woman was created to complement the man, no matter how you look at it; they fit together like hand in glove! Man was created with a certain instrument that is designed precisely & perfectly for sperm delivery! At the same time, this instrument is designed in such a way as to give both parties a considerable amount of pleasure during this process! The woman too, is not without an arsenal! Though purposely & perfectly inverted from the man's, her instrumentation is also designed to give a large amount of pleasure during a certain activity!
There is nothing wrong, in itself, with exploring one's sexuality! Sensuality, though stifled among many, is only natural and a necessary part of God's good creation! Why then are both of these completely healthy & natural feelings ( for lack of a better word ), condemned? Why is the practice of one's sexuality almost a taboo subject, whereas sensuality is not even a mentionable subject? Since we were made that way, what is wrong with a healthy bit of exploration & even ( gasp ) enjoyment? Well, as with most things & as the wisest man that ever lived once said 'there is a time for every purpose under the sun' ( Ecclesiastes 3:1 ) 'the way of a man with his virgin' is conceived by this same wise king as something which is too wonderful for even his full comprehension! There is a time & a place for everything, although anyone with the least bit of intelligence could tell you, especially in this day & age, that a park bench in the middle of a busy park, on a bright, sunshiny day, is probably not the wisest choice to explore either your sensuality or sexuality! Would there be anything intrinsically wrong with doing so? Not necessarily, but it sure could turn into an embarrassing & potentially dangerous situation ( ever get a sliver in your.......ahem; gives all new meaning to the phrase, 'shiver me timbers'! )!
So, if not the above scenario ( ouch ), where then & most importantly, when then? If not just anywhere & anytime, what would be the best scenario for a healthy & consensual time for exploration? Well, obviously, wisdom must play a part! Good sound, Scriptural wisdom tells us that the parties must be man & wife! When the parties are not man & wife, not only do they put themselves under condemnation, both God's & man's, they open themselves up for a world of unnecessary hurt! Seriously, there is plenty of room for hurt, even if they are man & wife! ( plenty of good, sexual healing, as well, too )
When both man & maiden ( virgin ) determine within themselves to wait for the right moment to go exploring, both the sexuality & sensuality are heightened dramatically! 'Timing is everything', they say & 'they' are right; when one waits upon their Father's wise bestowment, both the sensuality & sexuality can be so much more enjoyable, knowing, for one, that our Heavenly Father views such wisdom in a kinder light! The communion of the saints can be so much better too, as we are not hindered by feelings of guilt, even if we are able to keep our illicit activities under wraps!
As men & women of God then, both young & old, let us determine within ourselves to leave the exploration of both sexuality & sensuality to those in the marriage covenant! If certain parties can not keep it together & in their pants, then, as the apostle Paul wrote, 'it is better to marry than to burn'; if we cannot keep it ( them ) together & ( it ) in our pants, then rather than stifling our God-given & blessed creativity, both ( consensual ) parties should consider covenanting together before they do something stupid!
Charles Haddon Shank