The Boundaries of Love

"Wait, Wait, Wait a minute.......................'Love & Boundaries'? Do these terms really go together?!"

For readers of this blog, this may seem like territory we've explored previously; I may even be accused of sounding like a broken record, but, 'Unconditional Love': "Doesn't that sound kinda like 'Love Without Bounds'?" Well, Yes & No ( Yin & Yang? )! As in all of Life, Balance is of utmost importance! In order to be truly a manifestation of the Love We ARE, "Yes", the Love we show others must be without condition, but, in the sense ( humanly speaking ) that we must first love ourselves before we can love our neighbor, we have to set boundaries. If Life has taught us anything, it's that most ( not all ) people will walk all over us if we let them!

"Love", as I've written previously, "is a many splintered thing" ( my sarcastic take on the popular phrase, "Love is a many splendored thing!" ) This 'love' of which I speak is more closely related to 'lust', which is not necessarily a bad thing ( more on this later ) By "a many splintered thing": I'm referring to the fact that, if we're not careful, 'love' can bite us in the ass! Kinda like straddling the banister: it can be a fun ride, but if we're not careful, we might end up with a splinter in our butt, or worse! This is not to say that we should shy away from physical shows of affection, whether it be sexual in nature, or simply just that most important 'human contact', that which helps us to thrive. We were 'made' for this ( human contact ) & just like a plant, for instance, when we don't receive the necessary nutrients, we tend to fade away. Going for too long without the necessary nutrients, this physical body will go the way of the world, as it simply part of the great Circle of Life, like the plants & all the other animals! In words more plain, "this physical body will pass away, returning to the elements of which it is made!"

"As Above, so Below," in all of Life, "Balance is Key!" We must maintain a Strict Balance between loving others & caring for ourselves! In this sense then, if ONLY this sense, Love MEANS Boundaries! Setting Boundaries on our 'love' does not necessarily mean that we love some less than others ( though this is inevitable, humanly speaking ), it simply means that we have come to realize that "we can't pour water from an empty vessel", IE, if we don't ensure that we are gleaning the necessary nutrients for ourselves, we will be useless to anyone else. Getting to the Center of this post, however; when we realize our OWN Worth, that WE are the Fountain of Love & that any Love we give flows from Within, We realize that, in Reality, We do not need all the physical trappings in order to thrive: the Love Within us is More than enough & We are More than Worthy!

I've said it before & I'll say it again; "If we have the physical, but don't have the spiritual, the physical is worthless & if we have the spiritual, the physical is not necessary!" I realize that this may sound contrary to what I stated earlier, that "when we don't receive the necessary nutrients, we tend to fade away", but this is, in Essence, where we get into the nitty gritty, or the Heart of the Matter! "As Above, so below"; once We realize & accept that We are ( primarily ) spiritual beings having a human ( physical ) experience, once we transcend, or move beyond the attachments that naturally come with this human experience, even with the understanding mentioned previously, that "if we don't ensure that we are gleaning the necessary nutrients for ourselves, we will be useless to anyone else", it becomes clear that, not only can we glean these necessary nutrients from others; most importantly, we glean them from our OWN store, from our Divine Selves!

As Part & Parcel with the Source of All Life, call It 'God", 'the Universe", or just simply "Energy", We, even humanly speaking, have all we really need! Acknowledging that we are 'spiritual beings having a human experience' means accepting that experience for what it is ( call it 'Life' ). In this Flesh, this physical body, we experience things like loneliness, the longing to feel that human touch, etc., etc. I cannot deny the reality of feelings such as these, for in this human existence, they ARE a VERY real concern! However, relying on these feelings for the basis of our existence, In Essence, identifying with these feelings to the point that they become the Meaning of Life for us leads us to believe that without all these physical trappings, or attachments, we are nothing. In this human experience, we cannot escape these feelings. It is not even that we must endeavor to escape, or squelch them either, for there is nothing actually wrong with feelings; they are a necessary part of this human experience we call Life, but we must learn not to rely on our feelings ( I realize this goes against sayings like "go with your gut", etc. )! Feelings most often seem to flow as if with the wind, so anything based on feelings is likely to do the same!

Again though, Feelings are not necessarily a bad thing! If, for example, we get the feeling that the love ( energy ) we are sharing isn't being reciprocated ( returned in kind ), then we might make the choice to move on, to find somewhere ( someone? ) that we feel that love returned in kind, We may feel that our efforts aren't really appreciated, so we may choose to close that book & start a whole new chapter in our lives. Such feelings, even the choices we might make based on those feelings are not necessarily wrong, they just are ( "It is what it is" ). We must exercise extreme caution though, in basing our choices on our feelings, for more often than not, this leads to necessary heartache. Sometimes we must needs go through this experience, though it hurts like hell. Experience is usually the best teacher!

Our Feelings are an integral part of Us! Even as Divine Beings, our Feelings, that necessary aspect of our Humanity, ARE a manifestation of Who we are, not only as Human Beings, but as Divine Beings! One might say that we can't have one without the other ( let THAT sink in! ). Neither are Feelings 'a necessary evil'; again, for example, our 'gut feeling' may tell us to leave a toxic situation, but in the same vein, we might feel that, by staying, we can change, or heal the other person. In such a case, we must determine in ourselves whether these ( feelings ) are generated in our Higher ( spiritual ) or lower ( physical ) nature. By Higher, I refer to the Divine, The lower nature is that which is controlled by Lust, or the illusion of Want/Need! ( Remember, We HAVE everything we need, We ARE everything we really need! )

Being Human myself; I'll be the first to acknowledge that, "It ain't easy ( "bein' cheesy"; sorry, just HAD to throw that in there )". Having these Feelings really sucks sometimes! By denying those Feelings, for whatever reason, we may end up biting our own ass though, because, again, humanly speaking, when we disavow those feelings, thus allowing ourselves to 'bottle them up', sweeping them under the rug, so to speak, those Feelings WILL come back to haunt us, sooner or later & usually at the most inopportune moment! We ARE Mr. Murphy in that case, ie., our own worst enemy!

If, however, we can transmute/transform those Feelings/Energies through our Higher ( Divine ) Nature, we may begin to notice that it's not always about us! For instance, the love we give others not being reciprocated is not necessarily a reflection on us, ie., that they don't love us, but simply that they don't love themselves & thus don't really know HOW to love us. The other side of the coin is that we may feel unworthy because they & others have told us this all our lives: it doesn't mean that we ARE, just that we feel that way. ( This is why I don't rely on my feelings, humanly speaking ) On the other hand, again, we may come to trust our Feelings as they are transformed into what is often called that 'gut feeling', which is better known as 'Intuition'!

'Sure", you might be thinking, "Balance is a good thing, but It's also easier said than done!" Yes. Yes, It is! The Rewards however are worth it. Peace of Mind ( less Stress ), off the top of my head, is the foremost reason! Imagine living without the stress of "Why doesn't he/she love me?" "What can I do/not do to make him/her reciprocate my love?' ( nothing ) "What am I doing WRONG?" ( again, 'nothing', at least if you are acting from your Higher Nature ) Even, "What can I do ( to better myself, be a better lover, better wife/girlfriend, husband/boyfriend, etc. )?" Once we realize that we can only BE ourselves, we can only change our OWN actions, that WE are indeed responsible for OUR lives alone, than we WILL change our Course; our Lives will take on a more brilliant hue. We will be truly FREE!

Namaste' & Blessed Be!

Sage Charles