A Fair Tax ( Levy )

In the spirit of fair-play, it has been decided that since our government schools are funded largely if not wholly by unfair mill levies on all citizens, regardless of race, color or creed, it would be just and good to do the same for those who choose to educate their own children at home. Because these 'home-schoolers' have chosen, for various odd reasons, to educate their own children, but are, through their taxes and various mill levies, forced to support the government schools, with which they obviously disagree, again, for various odd reasons, a mill is being levied upon the citizenry of this fair state, in order to fund, through a fair tax, those who wish to educate their own progeny.

For years, despite differences in race, color or creed, the Federal Government has been forcing the citizenry of these United States to pay into the National Treasury tax monies which are then used however the hell this Auspicious Governing Body ( AGB ) sees fit! Even though we, the aforementioned, acknowledge the fact that certain of our fair citizenry have been forced to pay these taxes and support these unworthy causes against their will, or else be penalized with extreme prejudice, we stand firmly behind this resolution, and will continue to uphold these unjust practices. However, being the unjust stewards that we are, we have decided, in our munificent beneficence, to levy a tax in deference to those ( idiots ) who choose to school their own children!

While there may be certain benefits to educating your children at home, such as no parent-teacher conferences, the children are not chained to a desk for 6-8 hours a day and so on and so forth, we must warn those parents who would dare to even think of taking on this daunting task ( of educating their own children, these children may not develop the necessary social skills, like many government school grads, to function in the real world! Because of the sheltered life that many of these 'home-schooled' children lead, these children, now young adults, may feel shy and backwards when it comes to joining in the common debauchery of these government school grads!

For the most part, these parents who choose to educate their own children do so for their own selfish reasons, though they usually blame it on religion! They claim to believe that their God has commanded them to teach their children His ways, 'when they lie down and when they rise up', but they have chosen to educate their own children simply for the reason that they have certain 'religious objection' to the way their children are being brainwashed by state government agents. They have simply and selfishly chosen to deprive their children of the joys of social interaction with other drones ( this includes 'bullying' ), and to ensure that their own children will follow in their footsteps, rather than being allowed to choose for themselves who they will serve, whether the God of their fathers, or the god of their own choosing ( or making )!

As we have previously stated, even though we disagree wholeheartedly with those parents who choose to attempt educating their own children, we have chosen, in our graciousness, to levy this mill ( unfair tax ) upon our fair citizenry, in order that our unfair practice of mill levy-funded government schools might be balanced, in the eyes of these 'home-schoolers' with an unfair tax of their own!


STEVE MARTIN-STEWART