Virgin? Check! Never kissed a boy? Check! Doesn't show her knees in public, much less her thighs ( 'Perish the thought!' )? Check! Doesn't drink, doesn't dance? Check! Not a party-girl? Check! This list could go on & on, longer for some, shorter for others, but first & foremost, she MUST be a good Christian & go to church every Sunday! Right; sound familiar? To some, this is just 'old-fashioned, even legalistic, but to others, it's the only way to be! This probably sounds all-to-familiar to many of my readers, while at the same time it would be almost unthinkable, even unconscionable to others. Like it or not, if you were brought up in any kind of conservative Christian household, this is the sort of scenario you will most likely face when looking for a help-meet, or mate ( that almost sounds dirty, huh? )!
In this day & age, the sort of girl that your parents taught you to wait for, even in many Christian circles, is simply not to be found! One can still find good Christian girls ( women ) that might closely fit the description above, but not only are they few & far between, their heads are usually filled with outlandish notions & very bad theology. For the most part, these are good girls, submissive & all that, but many of them have been brainwashed for so long with legalistic visions of false piety & modesty that, try as one might, it can never be fully wrung out of them.
On the other hand though, some of these girls ( women ), because of their tight-laced upbringing, are so eager to leave all that behind that with their first taste of freedom tend to go overboard & end up being cast out because of their new-found 'freedom'! The girls that have found this 'freedom' ( it may not be truly free, like they thought ) often up in bad situations, like the Woman at the Well in John 4, with multiple failed marriages, who after these failures have settled into a relationship ( or string of them ) that foment their own brand of trouble!
As one brought up, more or less, in this sort of paradigm, it is rather difficult for me still to even consider much less than the above! We have been taught that a Christian should not be married to a non-Christian, the primary purpose of marriage being to procreate & raise good little Christian boys & girls. The drinking & dancing thing may ( admittedly ) be a bit much, but since we all know what two sweaty bodies ( of the opposite sex ) in such close proximity leads to..........................wait............
But seriously, if a girl ( woman ) doesn't meet most of the requirements above , she probably ( according to this paradigm ) isn't worth your time & energy!
The search for 'The Right Kind of Girl' may leave you tired & hopeless! We are told, 'God has a mate out there just for you, just be patient & wait on His Timing. Well yes, to wait on His Timing is always a good idea, but like James said, 'faith without works is dead'; if a person were simply to wait on God's Timing, that person may have a long wait ahead of them & will very likely end up old & alone! This, in our Father's Providence, is not always the case, but too often, people find that if they wait too long, either no one wants them because they're too stuck in their ways or they simply don't want anyone because they're too stuck in their ways!
This, in itself, is not a valid reason to just go out & marry anyone, even if she is the wrong kind of girl! The wrong kind of girl being one that likes to party, drinks ( even on occasion? ), dances, wears immodest ( according to? ) clothing, has kissed multiple boys ( men ), probably isn't a virgin ( I mean, just look at her! ) & horror of horrors, smokes & has at least one tattoo! These 'bad' girls, just like the 'boys', are often some of the most loving, caring & kindest people you may care ( or not ) to meet! They may not go to Sunday services or even ever darken the steps of any church building, but you may find them to act more like Followers of Christ then many Christians that warm the pews every Sunday & Wednesday!
With all the choices out there, how are we to know which is the right one for us? Admittedly, the One who gave us Life & knows us better than we know ourselves, the One who will not let a sparrow fall to the ground without taking note & who has numbered the very hairs of our head has no doubt created another human being for us to mate with, to be our partner in this adventure we call life. However, sometimes one must not only have faith, but take a step ( or two ) in faith! If we simply have faith ( wait ) & do nothing, that's just what will happen; nothing! If we don't get out there but simply hunker in our bunker, we may never find the one that has been prepared for us.
Simply because she may not meet the criteria that we have been told to wait for, we might miss our chance, so to speak & end up old & alone or worse yet, in a worse-then bad situation! The modern Christian definition of 'The Right Kind of Girl', though it may ( more or less ) line up with the orthodox rendering, may not necessarily be our Heavenly Father's.
The Scriptures from which we have concocted these lists of requirements are a volume written to a different culture, in a different time, in a different style of literature. These laws, though still to some extent useful, are not for us; they were meant for those of a different age. In this New Age, it is not the one who doesn't do any of the above that is the right one, but the one who does right, even though she may not meet all the above requirements, is 'The Right Kind of Girl'!
Trustt me, when you find that One, he or she will want you as much as you want them!
Charles Haddon Shank